sorry that i have not been updating here. caught up with several things recently. like got chase out of my house and stuff.

my best friend "C", she has been with me for more than 8 years i think. we got to know each other through a taekwondo class held at our neighbourhood community centre. C is 2 years my junior and i was in the TKD club before her. all these years, we experienced different coaches, different teaching methods, all the hardship together. she is a moral support for me at training. the 2 of us is the most senior among the seniors so our coach expected a lot from us. we 2 are currently wearing a junior black belt but i have converted into a black belted earlier this year just that i haven start wearing a black belt. i am waiting for my coach to nod her head before i could wear that belt.

i can't rmb when but i think is about early last year, me and C and some of the junior black belters were given the task to handle the class like taking over warm ups, kickings. our coach told us this is to prepare us to take over the class when they leave. me and C are sort of the ones who had the most potential so they took special attention on us and we took over the classes most of the time. all this while, me and C will always assist each other. we didn't want to let our coaches down.

though we both seem equally impt to the class, and i may be more senior than C, in our coaches eyes, there is a great difference between the both of us. C is a great fighter, she often bring glory to our class, clenching gold awards at sparing competition. on the other hand, i can't fight as well as C. i am a lousy fighter. the most a get a silver or bronze for my club. i have been thinking of stop going for sparing competition but help out more in those pattern competition. C was the apple in their eyes. i can't deny that i was always jealous. who wanted to be neglected when i put in the same amount of effort in running the class ? however, i still love C, she grew up with me and i always treated her like my own younger sister. anything about trainings, our own personal life we would share with each other.

this year i had to take my 0 level exam so i was forced to pause my trainings for 6 months. when i came back i was shocked. C was like a broken ragged doll. she told me she wanted to stop training. she say she wanted to give up. she cried and begged. my heart shattered.

the second training since i went back, C told me one of the juniors lodged a complain about her. i was shocked. the person complained that C was always scolding him/ her without reason and always making him/ her stay back late after class. it wasn't true. the juniors are still young, they refuse to listen to the seniors or even the one who is in charge of the class now. my coaches had left training due to their full time work so they hardly come down anymore. C scolded the juniors for not putting effort in their training and disrespecting the seniors. she cried in front of the juniors as she was tired of trying to hold the class together. she knew if our coach to come back to class to see the class in this state, our coach will be very disappointed and upset.

after i left, C was left alone to control the whole batch of them. she could not cope and could not take it. she had to stop her own trainings to watch over and teach them. she wanted to train. yet she could not. the juniors did not understand her point of view and go against her everytime.

as for the letter of complain, C did not scold that one person, she always scold the whole group of them, make the whole group of them stay back and train harder. it wasn't fair that she gets a letter of complain. however, she did not get any warnings from the head of TKD.

now she say she give up on the juniors and wanted to take a break. i just came back and i have to lose her ? i really dun know how i could pull her up again. she lost hope and she is ready to give up her passion of 8 years like that. i dun wan her to give up but i dun knw how to stop her. i can't imagine my trainings without her.